Never too late to try something new ^^

2010-05-07T14:17:00.003+08:00

-___-'''

I have so many past events to blog but quite lazy to
But now i juz have to blog this

Screw HFMD and your stupid ulcers!
Why can't you juz stay in the mouth
Why muz you go to the throat!!!
I cant freaking swallow
and im hungry!!!

Worst still i got it from obviously my workplace
Im gonna study dip in childhood
That means confirm gonna stay in kindergartens
SO WHAT NOW?!

I mean i can juz stay healthy to improve system
I may not get it again in the peak in Oct~
OH HELL HOW DO I KNOW!!!

2010-02-20T12:52:00.002+08:00

~fun fun~

Chinese New Year was great!
Last since i had so much fun that i didnt want it to end
and when it did i was so so so sad!!!
Love food game gamble and cousins!!!

Love hanging out with relatives and i want to keep it that way
Played pool with casper and oliver on thur
Next is clubbing hopefully hahaha
Darling wanny come along wor XP

Im so coop up with work i got no time for other things
I wan buy WII u know XP
I wan play singing game ma hehe

I have 1 colleague whom i think can be my sister too haha
And what do you know, she knows my cousin, in a way
I got lotsa stories to blog
even though i still play haha but now no feel
I wan change skin too lor

Oh and daren and evelyn tan put their kids in my school
seeing actors outside make me wah le
now im facing them everyday and talking to them!
They are so loving family sigh *jealous*

2010-01-10T11:05:00.002+08:00

~hey again~

Im still bz...its the new year
gotta plan curriculum for 2 subjects 3 classes
you know how perfect how slow i am zzz
once this is over then i can blog or play again

juz nid to get over this year
get over the start of new year 1st
coz the kids are killing me zzz
or shud i say i wanna kill them
haha

2009-12-14T22:19:00.002+08:00

~HEY~

Been bz with work coz now end of school year
had props to do for concert
now need do portfolio for 3 classes

Will be back soon to blog
and it will be a long 1
coz i got record events haha wee

so caught up with work i nv advertise my shop
do help me spread the word
sweetfashionsy.blogspot.com
thx! =D

2009-10-19T16:31:00.012+08:00

~my life sucks~

why is my facebook so quiet =(
disappointing
i can forget abt being a real model
im not photogenic right? sigh

i suddenly got this strong urge to be somebody
i see ppl who didnt do well in sch now living better, happier than me
i see so many of my frens in universities
i see guys who i had crushes on having gf the camwhore type
in other words pretty and makeup!!!
i always have this dream of me performing on stage
can sing can dance or whateva
juz talented in sth!
even dreamt i was a pro skater or a cheerleader
even being a model because of the events they participate also good
my life sucks

i wanna learn how to cook or sing or dance now
i wanna find a passion
I wanna be pretty for darling
and show my frenz i dun look like a toot!

despite that here is some fun but outdated posts:
22april2009 we celebrated by eating delicious jap food
the most ex dish is the fish eji $30!!! the bill added up to over $100!

and making couple ring and darling brought a dog home

before that he got his laptop...his big my small!

we started watching more movies at the cinema and always buying the food combos
170ct juz watched imagine that...such a cheerful movie ^^

29may2009 darling grad we ate at manhatten fish market

we went to eat swensens in august

POP 9/9/09

2009-10-16T17:19:00.006+08:00

~summary and impt news!~

as i have said in facebook
i have a blogshop! with my sis =)
thats my mystery for the past few weeks
we opened 40mins late frm 15oct
but im juz going to take 150ct as opening!
do visit sweetfashionsy.blogspot.com ^^

our 1st time, just started out
so tell me your opinions wor
and help spread the word!

3oct
darling surprised me with a present!

he bought me a digital frame!

i told him b4 i wanted one to put wedding photos hee
actually i had problems with this bgr
so when he said gt gift i was like afraid
i love the conversation after that
i love the frame very much
luv luv

4oct
i got to eat my fav ljs grilled food
no other place has better chicken then cajun chicken

7oct
been planning for 1st proper lesson
but took time to go buy clothes stock!
i am going to buy for myself XP

8-9oct
did leaf and rock painting...i also did my own
i felt my teaching was bad coz it was still messy
but it went quite well coz the art was done

10oct
met darling go sheng siong to buy banana leaves for art at the same time visit them
it was fun seeing them at the same time weird
i was like spending time juz wandering ard the market aimlessly
darling bought chocolate for my mum
went to collect ice cream cake and celebrate mum 50th bdae
had nice nasi lemak and lontong cooked by aunty

11oct
despite the frame gift i still had probs
darling and me cry together and i loved it XP
had another nice conversation
watched ugly truth and darling left again

12oct
brainstorm art ideas and took pictures for shop!
was weird at 1st camera shy ma!
i cant smile properly =(
my fav photo is

14oct
was worried abt art ideas and retook some pic
when smile my eye 1 big 1 small de =(
thur coming and i gt so worried
i kept smsing darling who was "locked away" at field camp
i felt i take darling for granted sigh
coz witout him to comfort and be there for me sucks

15oct
K1 class was a disaster
either i lousy teacher or they never listen or its too hard
mad
mum actual bdae so we
went to fav turf city eat seafood!

16oct
k2 class was fine but some never listen one!
never do the work correctly
i wan display the works but i see my precious coffee stain paper gone to waste
again either i nv teach properly or the kids zzz
but i found out that the k2 likes me i tink
there was this deepavali activity
mallar say k2 follow me den they yay infront of everybody

gt a few problematic kids argh hw teach
plan B!!!
but nw is relax time and darling and advertise!

2009-10-02T19:25:00.001+08:00

~down~

i juz saw a fren's blog
her works so nice
i also like to do drawings but i like no talent
how to teach art
i died at interior design too
how to teach art

from hyper to down suddenly =(

2009-10-02T18:23:00.003+08:00

~gahhh~

i've been making wasted tiring trips
i no $ coz of transport ar~~

my 1st day of work
the horror!!!
omg i cant control the little monsters!!!
they took advantage of my kindness
kids really got lots of problems zzz
-cry
-fight
-tattletale
-loud
-dun1 to share
-ego etc
do a simple drawing only leh
and the whole day was tough and tiring
schedule can never be on time
i met mallar and i asked for help haha
after the great talk, qns cleared
prepare well & learning from today
i will be ready for next week
no more mr nice guy!!!

mallar also got talked to me abt study part time
and work at the same time like her
it sounded like a good fix future le
but do i have the patience?

brand new mth go go go
i got free movie tic and ljs coupons
its gonna be a great weekend =)

2009-09-30T17:55:00.002+08:00

~thank you sherlyn!!!~

no good news the person nv reply =(

tue went to the school
i helped out in the english class
many kids started coming to me ask abt spelling
i almost forgot how to spell and pronounce "countries"
after seeing the workbook
i realised how many things i was unsure of
walk past tense is walked right?
lots is a slang or english word?
crap XP

when the kids heard i was teaching them art they so happy
phew lucky they like me hehe
especially 1 girl though
i was helping her 1 on 1
then we came across the word teacher
i explained miss minah is your teacher
then she said no you are my teacher
i said we both are then
then she got ask me whether i could come the next day too
aww sweet

its been long since i see kids fighting over a chair
so funny especially when share with other people XP
end of the day the principal taught me what to do
lucky art room not open air ar
half of the room is mine muahaha
i get to decorate it, pack it - my fav part
now i have to prepare and get materials
and its a little hard coz 4-6 yr olds
some craft i wana teach duno whether appropriate =/

1st time my darling offered to follow me places
coz i dun remember any hehe weee
and im jealous of christopher lee and fann wong!

2009-09-27T19:27:00.002+08:00

~news!~

folded stars finish last thur nite 320 ONLY
coz my fren said she folded 3k+ SIAO~
my button pinafore is here its nice!
but the back got prob zzz
i bought new shoe $10 only!
but wear got prob zzz
and i still want the covered type and sandals hehe
found a great ladies fashion shop
so exciting and anxious
hope got good news

most importantly
im hired!!! woohoo tue training
2oct start work
and i freaking duno hw to teach music
art okok la XP

I still miss you
but the flame is dying
u not scared ar? hee

2009-09-22T20:38:00.003+08:00

~more happenings~

current number of folded stars is 235!
Template on the verge of finishing woohoo!
now waiting for my sis then do do do
then can finally show u guys what i've been doing!
at least the layout have no probs unlike my blog! zzz

my aunty got part time job for me
but i still waiting for call 1st
its been a few days only but i suddenly feel unsure
=/

I wont be getting my allowance!!!
its so unfair!!!
i have no impression of ever forgetting to punch out from work!!!
i cant do anything abt it coz its recorded!!!
if i got scan thumbprint but nv go in computer
then screw u shit crap shit !@#$%^&*
juz my luck~

sun went aunty house for hari raya
had great time chatting with cuzzies
talk abt bgr and childhood
omg i miss the younger days
Genting? serious? on ma?
all ok i confirm ON wor haha
mit up soon!!!

mon went darling house stay
i told him of the things cuzzies and i talk - about him XP
well everything seemed great on that day
felt different
thats y after sending him off on tue
i got sad feeling abit

oh wells back to completing stuff
toodles

2009-09-18T18:08:00.004+08:00

~2 weeks happenings~

playing new game with sis
while doing template...problematic man
cant wait to get it done so can start!
muahaha mystery eh~

already did my hair $256!!!
highlights man...i know i always said i wanted natural hair blah blah
but screw that i want nice hair!
wanted more style but the only best way to save my hair was rebonding again

9/9/09 was my darling's POP
the parade was fun and they all look so cutie small
i help darling put his cap on
his frenz jealous their gf never went heehee

i look fat & ugly nooo! reason y i dun camwhore =(

went to aunty house on sat
steamboat nice singstar woots!!!
but only played late at night poo
next time again then
so long nv c cuzzie at 1st nth to say
but singstar sure bring laughter and joy always!
miss the younger days we play play always
chalet hotel genting even juz playing hand games
our turns to arrange gatherings le haha
planet hollywood at my house on mum's bdae celebration! woots!

fav cuzzie all grown up sigh
im so white & dull..seriously need make up XP

mon met sherlyn and kiji doouble date!
walk around ion awhile ate at the foodcourt
everything at least $5 even my wanton mee zzz
kiji's bakuteh $9 i can eat carl's junior and be full XP
watch gamer at cine not that nice =/
after that day i know i want buy leggings, 'oversize' shirt and printed shoes
on hold coz spent too much le and jobless
later darling and me still ate seoul garden lor
lucky darling got alot of movies on com

wed went sembawang shopping centre with family
got esterns and subway! daiso too! haven gone to see the new northpoint
i love amk hub too shops all so nice nice nice~
after that went fren house get my payslip
they nv pay me my allowance! sat see how then
she gave me stars to fold since im free..SP want break record 800,000 stars
im against SP hmphz but for charity ok haha
folded 120 le for now

thx to sherlyn and her fren i got interview on fri
wed talk abt it fri have le woots
teach kindergarden
i ask darling folo me coz im freaking scared
take taxi still late coz lost zzz taxi fare $23
thx to my resume from secondary school duh
principal likes me! I think i hope haha she was very nice
she takes it as though i have diploma cool or what!
but she got suggest take childhood education
(hmm if i like it maybe i can! my future awaits)
i was in aesthetic club so she want me be art music drama computer teacher
heheheehehehhee so exciting but worried!!!
now have to wait for call for training
then i work thur fri 5hrs+ sweet!
then do well can become full time
oh pls be well *screams shriek squeal*

darling dun spend so much! hehe
i nid earn so i can spend on makeover! wahaha
my sis bought travelpack cluedo so cute and small i suck at cluedo haha
i've been listening to radio almost everyday
songs so nice somemore awesome
lastly hope to cya peeps and cuzzies soon

2009-09-06T23:45:00.000+08:00

~great week~

now that i have quit my job
every morning i wake up without aches and pain anymore
but my thumb still sprained
thur went back sheng siong
felt paiseh but everything turn out fine
long story lazy say XP

been playing game with sis, eat out with family, full day with darling
wee feels good...despite sore throat now!
sat went shopping, pepper lunch, movie at amk hub
awesome except end of the day screwed up
complicating~
anyway watched final destination 3D
gruesome! intestines everywhere!
and freaking bottle lemon tea cost $3.10
freaking rip off
im keeping the bottle! haha

haven find job coz my priority changed to other business
god please watch over me and my sis
start with a big bang and never end!

miss my cousins and friends
cya peeps on fri
cya cousins on sat hopefully
cya cousins to play pool hopefully have
cya darling at ur graduation parade on wed
cya jeanyip hair salon on tue!!!

2009-09-01T17:59:00.000+08:00

~weee~

I have quit my job!
now on to business!
on to another job!
on to fun!

things to do:
go back sheng siong on thur
buy lotsa snacks
treat friend
treat darling
makeover?
pack wardrobe 1st haha
bloggie stuff
play game with sis XP
cya peeps soon!

exe manager still smsing me zzz

2009-08-27T00:40:00.002+08:00

~summary~

left 1 online clothe quick sis!
darling tml book out!
im sick today!

woke up with sore throat
whole day runny nose at work
now i feel cold...i dun1 mc!
exe manager still got sms me ytd ><
end of aug coming, i have no interviews =(
i didnt pay for darling that day
i get pay then my turn! then i save

got 1 woman suddenly say i pretty haha
got many aunties say my skin nice haha
got a sweet talker today
he say i smile nice
later when leaving he ask whether can work here
i tot he really meant it so i said maybe they still hiring
then he said "then can i work here with you?"
make me smile so big la haha

i wana quit coz i cant have a life
i have to work weekends
my wrist hurts
im tired of facing argh customers
tired of always have to be fast
dun wana be called auntie
dun wana dress like zzz
but im gona be jobless!

blogshop! blogshop?

2009-08-21T23:30:00.002+08:00

~!!!~

my online clothes coming wee!
end of aug is coming!
darling book out tml!
i planning to pay for our meal
coz darling pay alot for me le
after this im saving and saving!
for makeover!
and business?!

i saw the new courses for poly
argh i duno what to do!
im packing room now
why i feel like so many tings missing
crap!
news spread so fast
morning shift also noe i planning to quit le
exe manager oso noe
he asked for my num
he sms me after work that day
creepy!
got 1 guy also want send me home one day
nice but no ty!

fren say ace job taken le wth!
so b4 trying to call
im sending resume to aunty's place
she say design menu that kind
im so not creative but i like
sch not wasted if i get in
haha!
if i really get in i hope is not another design shit from hell!
but a great place to pick up graphic skills!
but my hotmail got prob!

guess that's another summary...
cya peeps soon!

2009-08-16T02:43:00.002+08:00

~up up and away~

today work i like so tired
cant smile and say thank you much haha
like bad customer service XP
i accidentally cut my finger with penknife =(

i talk to my fren abt quitting at work
quite good coz i didnt have to tell them anymore
they know i planning to quit hee
they tell me to stay haha
ask me y want quit
aww they really very nice
but i really want my weekends back
thx ivyna for helping me again
she help me found another job
hope got good news for september
coz i quitting end of this mth =D

had a great talk with her at her hse after work
i shall try to melt the ice haha
treat you soon =)

ytd i surprise darling by turning up under his blk
bought choco for him partially coz the heart shape container was small and cute
it was fake ferrero and it was not nice poo
we went watch GI Joe
then taxi home
sweet day =)
i think chie and gie are getting better

2009-08-14T12:53:00.000+08:00

~need to change again~

I REALLY NEED TO FIND ANOTHER JOB
COZ I WANT MY LIFE BACK

oFF dAy OFf DaY wOOO~
how i always look forward to fridays
i've worked there for 1mth le
stand alone on wed
was freaking nervous at the start
called for help a few times
hate it when customers give coins later and i have to add up
coz i need to count fast
i cant think straight!
later calm down and day ended
was i fast i don't know
coz i duno whether is it i who cleared the queue
or customers went to another counter
*sigh*
i did the hi-card thingy myself wor woots
i hope i gained confidence from this

got new cuts
my wrist ain't better
i see veins coming out
my thighs seem freaking slimmer
but im freaking out
coz i look anorexic XP
i want fats now to become muscles haha

now earning money its time to use it
for a makeover!
who wants to help?
well 1st i wanna 'pack' my $ with my mum
then i have to quit this job so i can do my hair
coz i tie my hair up for work
contact lens so i can match my clothes?
"there's no ugly people only lazy people"
learnt that from a show
still waiting for online clothes to arrive

i feel messy
i feel like there's alot of things to do or wanna do
i feel like designing my house already =X
(make sure i put what i learnt to the test grr)
i feel like skating with darling again

its time to clear mess!!!
partly is the number of movies i never catch!!!
hope later will be fun XP

2009-08-09T23:56:00.002+08:00

~national day~

played scrabble after eat with family on fri
so long nv play le
i won wee i was lucky
talked to sis at night
so complicating but understood

darling came find me after work
aww he already at woodlands waiting for me =)
he brought kfc
it was a sweet night
he said ily to me
i didnt say back
i was shy and guilty at the same time
i was in doubt
i was afraid it was habit or comfortable
i duno what i feeling
but i noe everytime when i have to leave u i feel sad
always think of you
cry and tell you everything
total fragility infront of u
tats a good thing ok

today at work i announce the pledge moment thing
1 english at 2plus, 3 times both language evening time
i freaking nervous i mispronounce the chinese 1 ><
people say my voice nice awww thx
in the office while preparing
i end up making fren with the exe manager
oh wells at the most now he teasing me
nothing horrible yet
im getting closer to the people there ><
i duno what i wana do yet
i juz know wan find another job
coz of the schedule

giving out flags was fun and it added to the atmosphere
but when 8.22pm came
it was so disappointing
it didn't start and end well
i tot they gonna show the live performance on tv
but instead they show the commercial with the pledge
so no feel...
oh and got 1 cute boy
he pay me with 3 groups of 20cents each wrapped with scotch tape

got so many movies i wan watch =(
darling wan go out with me vice versa
shud i really juz quit 1st then find another?
i dun dare ><

2009-08-07T17:10:00.002+08:00

~boring~

its fri again wee
but its getting boring
my life so boring
in the day there's no fun
darling will still be in army
so i juz relax relax
if sis at home then play game
at night eat dinner with family or darling
but darling this week book out sat sigh
i'll be glad if i going back poly
i get to feel knowledgeable again
have fun and do well? yes please!
last chance last chance
i have to remind myself over again

got my pay it feels so little
who will say $ alot correct or not haha
all the 'exercise' at work
i feel my thigh is slimmer hopefully!
i still not sure how well i doing at work leh
so many times i still blur de
i hate 1 aunty she like to say i slow
you don't cut q 1st la
yea go to the next counter
i dun1 attend to you also hmphz
thx ivyna for helping me with speech

the moment of truth is a cool game show haha
and omg the pussy cat doll guy can sing ><

what can i do to bring meaning back to life?
pack room again? study or read? design or craft? do web? cook?
i suddenly feel pump up haha
i wonder the formula got work or nt haha

2009-08-04T01:24:00.002+08:00

~luck tml?~

today i more 20cents poo
i can 4get abt making record
the start of the day already so funny
why? coz the nice lady i gave the spoilt note to
1st person to come to my counter
i see her my mouth drop, eyes big big

then today is abt kids who like to hold $
they hold the $ waiting to giv me
i giv the change to parent they wan snatch oso
haha

staff receive contract today
thx ivyna for helping me understand it
well lucky no bad news juz info
i juz did the formula for luck XP
i dun smell pung pung!
staff gonna be part of the pledge moment
i gonna announce abt it at 8pm
cool haha

darling now outfield...take care muack =)

2009-08-03T00:34:00.004+08:00

~down on luck~

oh i 4gt to mention
i got anyhw scolded by a siao guy
either he speaking hokkien or i wasnt listening
so i didnt understand what i did
but obviously NOTHING!
i was at the bus interchange looking for sth
when i suddenly turned and saw him
he stopped walking and look at me
i was like y he staring at me
i faster walk further up to wait for the bus
when he started his blah blah
i can only get the last sentence
"u wear guai lan de t-shirt"
i wasnt looking at him at all
omg the embarrassment
if ppl in line knew he was shouting at me

i remember describing to my sis
he wore all black white long hair
dark square sunglasses
and then leh at sheng siong
there was this siao guy
i tink i saw him b4 b4
he was talking loudly and of coz acting siao
he had the same sunglasses but his hair long black
either i saw wrong hair color b4
or they can be brothers XP

y am i so dumb at work
i saw this note spoilt i still accept
i find a way to give it away
finally did to this nice lady
i so guilty la
lucky my fren told me personal can go bank change
its juz sheng siong will got prob
i relieve coz i tot i made her lose $
but i tink still karma la
i wanted to throw my shoes tat day
but then tat day fall apart zzz
i ask the exe manager got glue ma
he tell me wait there and left
i tot office got or sth but he came back with newly bought one!
he help me glue back
omg so sweet la! i so touched!
but wasted he abit meanie manager XP
nobody's perfect~

i had prob with bf again
haiz its like not he nv try
but maybe not doing right?
example bf buy alot food make u happy
but instead gf not happy coz food end up in dustbin waste $
get what i mean?
instead there are other things he nv touch on
so after long blah blah
i still cant stand the things he say
duno whether got understanding
but i sms him 1st saying i alrdy down on life not luv life too
then he said sth sweet
sth different for the 1st time?
i was touched
fri i was disappointed but then he did sth i cried
cried coz touched ok
=)

my fren gave a formula to help with my down luck
hopefully it works haha

2009-07-31T00:13:00.003+08:00

~stories stories!~

on tue mr nair, pri sch teacher, paid at my counter
he still remember me!
and he still at fuchun pri wah~
i think i said darling, wed i karma haha
darling is changing le
he said he miss me!

karma stories:
1stly i was late for meeting

i made the wrong decision and took the bus on the other side

seeing the bus i suppose to take drive away

but still b4 2pm so salary ok

next i couldn't find my food

luckily some1 had his number on soup and 'cai'

he gave me his 'cai' and i got to eat

but the nasi lemak not nice XP

next while scanning halfway the com crashed
i was alittle happy coz it meant i can take a break awhile haha
the exe manager came to fix it
standing beside him for so long awkward!

a few times after com restart, i scan it crashed
he scan 1st time it work, i touch only crash again
he tease me say he more lucky or the com likes him
so qiao 2nd time it happened again
but the embarrassing thing is i gave out a loud shriek
coz i was shocked that it was seriously that qiao lor
pooie thing is he said to stay at counter tell ppl counter close
but then leh another supervisor say go help pack infront
i went came back the exe manager say y i left
zzz typical situation zzz

oh and i gave sum1 more $1
good citizen he gave me back
did i mention i gave sum1 $10 more b4?!
lucky he good citizen too
oh and i accidentally hurt an apek's fingers
i sayang it somemore
he was a good sport abt it
cute

stories of fishes:
-sheng siong sells live seafood
crab i know they alive
so i juz have to be careful
but fish i cant tell
so twice while trying to scan
the freaking fish jumped when i touched it
shocked but funny
brightened up the day for the customer & me haha
-2nd while returning to my counter
i saw this indian woman holding up her scarf
with a fish clinging on to it haha

stories of kids:
-there was this boy who went to get tidbit
came to the counter and showed my supervisor 5cents
she say cannot buy with 5cents
he went back changed tidbit
did the same thing
i think 3 time later he left
he like no family de =/
after some time
he came back again
but this time he reached over and scan for himself,
in the middle while i was scanning a customer's,
and showed 5cents again
i asked the customer your child?
she say no, we cancelled the scan
he left again and my supervisor told the story
bringing smile to customers faces
-another time the mother came to pay
her kid holding on to tidbit
she say dun1 dun1
then the kid juz threw the tidbit on the floor and came over
i say not funny but it was so cute

thur i did alot of packing myself
i at the front customers come non stop
got more cuts, hands feel stress
and my wrist injured from the heavy stuff
3wks le phew

i wonder what's going to happen ltr =)

2009-07-29T01:17:00.003+08:00

~work and love probs~

mon went to work
i at counter 9
i wont enjoy work if im there coz its the front
the com suddenly got prob
so i had to slow down ask do what
got i ass guy loudly saying slow arh slow arh
i seriously want smack him
but can only curse inside
the exe manger calling me small kid
well my voice is pitchy haha
i think im faster le
i dun have supervisors taking over hee
lastly i think my thumb is changing
ppl say u cant change fingerprints
but after 2weeks plus
the scan thingy cant seem to read my thumbprint
take so many tries b4 its green light

tue b4 going work i went to cwp to look for job
and...i actually went up and ask
but...freaking "more than words"
i asked in english
the china girl reply in chinese
i tink got communication breakdown
she ask me i can speak chinese ma
i say abit
she say must be able to speak both
i like sian diao i juz ok nvm
well how well can you speak english too?!
they seem unfriendly people so oh wells
but its 5day $1.1k+ leh~
why am i not bilingual =(

what i ask for in my relationship doesn't seem alot anymore
coz my sis bf does it
he juz asked her if she free 2nd wk of aug
(not like last time always i the one asking you out or planning etc etc
i think about it now i oso mad le!)
"have you heard about the movie UP?"
its juz word words
y do you have to think so much when talking to me
call also i call you
talk also i talk
so many times it feels like excuses sweet talking only
i say you you say i being difficult
so got change no!
changable i duno
but the more i angry the more i gona lose feelings
got do anything? no!
coz you also angry coz its not your fault
so we say its my problem but its a problem with you
and i juz realised it also meant you don't have a problem
so you not gonna do anything its juz me again!

its been 2yrs+ duno hw many times i repeat le
argh im getting pissed
even when he's juz away in army
he say fri when he book out we eat good food again
if you realise its the same everywk
ok nvm coz now he army i work
and our fav thing is eating
well 2yrs to a few days change
its gonna take alot to win me back again
hw much you do depends how much you really care
but simple thing like commenting (whateva it is)
you say you duno what to say
how do you think it makes me feel?

u jolly know how i feel what i think already
coz i freaking tell you everything
what do you still not understand abt me?
what woman want?
to you is then what men want leh?!
so do i get what i want?
no...

im bad rite? but im mad too
sorry sorry sorry

2009-07-27T11:47:00.004+08:00

~feel sian diao~

oops ok i didnt do ultra late post when darling came
darling book out late
he say i order pastamania 1st b4 it closes
but i say dun1 coz i wana see what he will do
he kip saying by the time come my house no time le
after long long, i said who say call at my house
he finally got it but nah i dun1 anymore XP
we ate macs instead

darling is there really nth to say at my tagbox or to me?
u used to say "what i wan say i say to you le when i see u" or sth like that
wont work on me anymore
u say u know me then y u still tag like that?
i know you very well too~
facebook is very disappointing

ytd in the day at work..i emo abit
coz i finally get whats wrong
counter 12 - packer
i tot i start out the day as a packer at counter 12
later cashier at counter 12 too
i oways wondered coz i dun get sth
duh sth was wrong but i nv knew
till ytd the cashier at counter 12 say dun come here pack le if not exe manager say
then i said but the thing wrote i at 12 mah
my fren said packer meant at the front counters
exe manager it would have been helpful if u explained
instead of being sarcastic abt stealing ppl''s job
argh feel so stupid

i watch mentalist ytd nice wor
and finding time to play game with sis
trying find new job but it seems even though this job hectic
but other retail working hours more
if more pay but oso work more hrs
zzz office job only then?

2009-07-24T12:26:00.002+08:00

~work & shows long boring post =P~

wee its friday again!!!
off day and book out!!!
darling say wan order pizza or sth
wah everyweek good food

got so many shows to watch
smallville, heroes, mentalist nxt week
desperate housewives but i watch finish on tom365 le
ending mystery again zzz
got old fav Growing Up on weekdays 3pm
but i cant catch =(
also got channel U grow with love
i watch the show i realised even though got passion
but doesnt mean you have the talent for it
sigh whats my talent =(
it sure makes sense for my case
those who struggled had frenz for support
i on the other hand ran for comfort
im still haunted by DID
everyday i see secondary students
i juz wanna turn back time =(((
so i told myself another 3yrs would be the last time to score le
i hope for the best

oh and the show also made me realised
im not looking for prince charming
i want some1 who xin li xiang tong
coz even saying the right thing
oso makes it wonderful
the show maybe somewhat dramatic
but you get it right
i ji jiao the smallest thing you say or do
now we understand why
oh no~ hehe

about work, i learn fast but i still abit slow leh
i cant scan properly and i cant take out the $ properly
nooo and ytd i less 20cents
ytd stress man got no packer help all the time
freaking slow or juz long queue
like nv stop moving at all
stop buying so many stuff at one go!
stop giving me $50 i see a $10 there!
stop cutting Q and coming from both sides!
zzz haha~

i feel like the exe manager picking on me
that time like picking on the person teaching me oso
he still give me the creeps coz i feel him watching my every move
he either straight forward, trying to be funny but not
or juz plain sarcastic?
he say i slower then the computer
which i happen to say it was dying coz it took forever to shut down
zzz kena shoot back hmphz

then that time i helping put products back to its place
he saw me running about
i still duno my way around ok~
he say i so free huh then help him display stocks
he said i slow again sigh
i afraid of dropping them ma
well he did say thank you ltr XP

then another time i oways start the day as a packer
he ask me what i doing
i say im a packer at this counter
then he say i steal ppl's job
its called take over take over!
then that time i close counter late
i duno why i assume everything keeping finish le
i decided to reply sms
he ask me what i doing
i duno why the hell i said i duno zzz
i always help keep stocks de
i end up help sweep floor for the day
anyways now ok le haha

he say moving to counter 9 at the front got meaning
i think it means a good thing
but hell its too hectic for me
i love the back counter
the scanner is good and its mostly tidbits haha

my life nth much le
gain new injuries and bruised hands and feet
but i feel stronger from all the standing haha
maybe find another job got more time to find frenz to go out again
the new person work 1 week quit le
no wonder why that time the exe manger ask me
"so i wont be working long 1 huh?"
after seeing plasters on my fingers
and knowing im slow
oh wells i survived 2weeks le

man i only blog and catch up on shows
i lazy to do my own stuff le
sorry darling have to ultra post somemore hee
maybe later when i see you
hee muack!

2009-07-19T12:23:00.002+08:00

~i wan everyday to be fri haha~

fri we ate sakae sushi!
usually we can eat 10plates each
now we eat 10plates+ total
man sadz i wanted to eat more
dessert is the nice ball icecream thingy
i put it in the fridge zzz
nxt day it already melted not nice =(
darling gave me another one of his to put in freezer
say i eat dun nid keep for him
awww muack!

work is getting better
but still got cuts
heard i was doing fine
tats a relieve not proud for me haha
aiyo now wan resign start feeling guilty
i have to reconsider my decision again
finally i get to buy the kinder beuno 3 for 3.20
thx ivyna for finding it for me through all the stocks
tats gonna be my supper

ultra late posts for apr may june have to ultra somemore
till my next offday ba
home cooked salmon porridge is nice~

getting use to it but still
bye bye darling =(((
i think we are getting better

2009-07-17T12:14:00.003+08:00

~happy happy~

Finally I can just stay at home
summary of work
cuts on left hands
ball ball on both toes
poke by penknife on right thigh
ytd injured left thumb
cut on right pinkie
balance for 4days and i spoilt my streak nooo!!!
wed i more 30cents argh how can!
thur i lesser 5cents but still balance so nvm
being human calculator difficult to not make mistake
so i saw the record book every1 got mistake
nooo i cant make history anymore!!!
unless i make 1 mistake only
i still got 3weeks
duno whether is it i hungry
but the food provided now nice wor
i always look forward to eating haha

darling sms me ytd ask me out!
omg i duno how long nv hear that~
thx ivyna for changing my off day to fri
now i can look forward to darling book out!

2009-07-13T23:04:00.002+08:00

~suck thumb~

today was a horrible work day
i wanted to like just leave
im already moving fast i cant move any faster
and i made so many fumbles
but now im fine
another balance day
my off day now fri weee
coz got new worker he take mon
everytime i eat so little le
1 food for 2 meals omg

sorry i shudnt say you at mac
but its accumulating alright
stop saying me you leh?!
you still not listening
i nv msn you i think we can both be grumpy at work and army
i like it we both agree on sth
our FB very quiet hehe
I still want to be with you ok
we are so comfortable with each other le
lets not waste it
change change!
for the better not worst~

2009-07-13T11:54:00.002+08:00

~Sad and tired...died~

Its gonna be my third day later
getting use to but i still nervous
thx ivyna alot for helping me
2 days balance
means $$$ all correct phew
everyday i come back
with aching body and painful feet!
im moving fast but time so slow!!!
my hands gonna be horrible
people oways say my hands smooth
now its gonna be old haha
got cuts leh and got touch the seafood
i tink i gonna work there 1 mth only XP

im sad i only get to c my darling once a week now
coz of my stupid work, off day on mon only
i tot he will miss me more too
and despite inconvenience he will find me again
b4 going back in, you know the meaning
but again its juz a hope, he say he tired
I got disappointed he got angry
that temper of his you get it

sat he got come find me muack
but we only like 2hrs then slp le sigh
nxt day another few hrs then bye bye
i got sad and cried
guess in his sms now it was all just a burden
in your FB u write nth abt me one
small stuff like that i ji jiao hee
i see other ppl write to each other i sad rite
coz i oso wan
=(

to be fair i hope too much you do little hmm?
little you noe what i mean coz i say so much le
you shud get it by now
but coz its not natural for him but a chore
its difficult

2009-07-10T23:24:00.003+08:00

~No choice for now~

finally ffx got improvement
it was getting boring trying to do side quests etc
but sadly my game, fun life have to go
for now...

I decided to go for the interview at sheng siong
yes a cashier at a supermarket
i need some exposure and i dun feel pressured
unlike the hotel job coz i felt i dun have the ability
anyway when i came home
my cousin called and say the position had been filled
by the internal transfer person
definitely she will get the job de lor

another reason i felt ok beacause of my fren
she works there too even though only weekends
she followed me today and taught me stuff le
she made me felt comfortable with the people there
thx alot! =)

sad thing is the working days
i deliberated so much whether i should take the job or not
but i shouldnt be fussy coz nw i nid help
and they could hire straight away
only got afternoon shift 2pm to 10pm =(
6 working days weekends too =((
public holidays too =(((

I cant spend much time with family frenz and BF!
I cant go cousin house or go out =((((
now BF in army and weekends i cant spend much time with him
I sad! =((((
I'll miss having the chance to go out with the aggro gang
sherlyn kiji austin abigail alwyn

at least work for a mth and see how things go...
wish me luck 11/07/09
im scared ><

2009-07-08T22:13:00.009+08:00

~just felt like blogging~

Ytd my sis came back home with a very nice balloon

my baby waffie likes it too haha

It seems like her 22 bdae better than her 21st

Finally a photo of us together again after duno hw long ago
we look so different~

Finally get how to play the blitzball
now kan chiong to play to win the skills haha
but im gona watch tv
coz its the final goodbye to Michael Jackson
his memorial so saddening la! =(
RIP MJ

in apr darling bought these for me to eat
besides subway these cookies are delicious too!

to be contd...

2009-07-07T19:19:00.002+08:00

~rot and die~

actually i wanted to blog abt apr stories
but i was emo about the interview
so i watch tv and ffx
my heart uneasy since morning till now
disaster yet got learn sth
unlike DID F crits
but even though learn sth
im not happy
the interviewer said coz i her colleague's cousin
she advise me while interviewing me instead of treating me like a real candidate
so there were many probs she advise me on
indirectly like saying im bad wah
its not decided but
if they wan hire me
i dun think i feel like working there
its like pulling strings to get in

seriously i think i failed terribly
how to be confident with a resume like mine
my plan is still to look for experience not a career
I don't see any good points only weaknesses
i can't say i can handle pressure or stress
coz after DID crap I duno anymore
im trying to get out of comfort zone le
if not i wouldn't be at the interview duh~

i saw chef tony on buzzing cashier 2 on chn 8 on mon
so when i saw him it was like so funny
but i didnt dare say "hey i saw you on tv" XP

i duno what to do now
darling called me after he sms and i replied with a sad face
aww that's a 1st hehe muack
he agree it would be better to do another simpler job
start slow rather than this hotel job
chef co-ordinator they call it
haiz argh i hate this!
if i nv try i also duno but im so afraid of screwing up
especially now will hai my cousin
my fren finally got a reply from her manager
so i can go down for interview or start le
and its a simpler job cashier type

thx mum and darling for supporting me today
lotsa love =)
but i still have no courage =(

2009-07-06T12:39:00.017+08:00

~continue for March~

woots after so many tries
we got the 99x warp spheres!
my sis found a place to watch tv episodes cool
tom365

Ultra late update for my darling 21st bdae
my gift is sth i made...i like craft works
and craft work is priceless as gifts
coz you cant find it outside!

I bought chocolate and card on 11 mar
(my nice hallmark card has nw disappeared!)
12mar i went cwp with darling to choose mini gifts
earrings, sneaker balls, green shoelaces
Finished gift 14mar i gave to him

christmas and bdae haha!
ate dinner with his family
next day is science centre!

before that i planned with lyn to surprise darling
told her and the rest of the gang to appear at mac
with cake and present
thx guys for coming and making it a fun day for him

(i forgot to mention is cake with candles and singing as they enter!)
oh wells darling was still smiling big big

they sang very loudly haha

they made boxes for us cute haha

They made darling walk around in it to get 21 signatures

that ended and we went in, it rained so heavily the ceiling crashed

evening went omni theatre...was fun but disappointing
was expecting more of a thrill ride
later we went to the car ride
it was kinda lame XP but still fun
day ended with dinner at pepper lunch yum!

what will happen next yr?

2009-07-05T23:52:00.009+08:00

~random old photos~

before i continue mar apr may jun stories tml
so watch out again
here's stuff i wanna share

I miss eating LJS grill food
had much when went shopping with darling in march
coz got coupons XP
now no more so ex =(

can any1 guess what is that?
that is when i playing maple
my darling sleep on my thigh
leaving his EAR mark on it
when he woke up

no i dun have a tattoo its henna
drawn way back at my nephew bdae party
my cuzz sis oso have
nice right but nah i wont want it permanent
natural still beta XP
if only it could remain black than peel off & be brown

i saw ths colour on my floor 1 day
i was thinking how the sun and the glass window would make that
put my foot there to take photo
realised it was light reflected from my jewellery box
cool~ random!

yes thats me!!!
thats Ivan big show's hat from his China ITP
if it weren't for the arms
i would be a cute panda!

watching girls out loud at 1am
its kinda nice coz the hosts siao funny people
especailly wendy coz she's like a blonde
i wonder how she get paid to blog
eee...

2009-07-05T20:28:00.021+08:00

~thur-sun long post~

On thur night darling call me!

On fri I finally finished the gift,
while playing ffx with sis
stuck at omega ruins
i wan the 99x warp spheres!
Finally decided and after 1hr struggle
i called chef tony
a job recommended by cuzz
now got interview on tue!
freak shit ><
darling come find me after book out
coz sun i wan to go over le
we ate at cwp kfc
i dun taste the diff in the bandito =x
Its juz nice lor haha
Then at my hse i give him gift
1 week of hard work
thx lyn and abi for richie's 21st bdae photos

27 pieces

back

2 patterns

he forgot bring the photos so i told him sat he do sun i see

on sat my mum also said the gift was nice
can sell or make for other ppl
in the future can do sth abt this skill
show it don't hide it
so it is on my blog too
it was like the best thing i've heard
since DID poly crap shit
*realised people were flirting on _____ FB profile
can't stand it...yea i still dont like _____
maybe when i get to noe you i will ok
but now based on wat i c & hear no
*they are finally together...><
we watched 12 rounds
i changed my playlist to some of my fav micheal jackson songs
the more i watch about MJ news
the more saddening it seems to become
he was going to have a concert den poof
yea his SINGING voice nice
muz emphasize haha

evening darling went home
i went to noli jiejie's house to celebrate birthdays
her house nice and big man!
thx carissa for photos
main party is for my niece natalie bdae 4july
but we came late so nv catch

her cake had biscuit in it like kit kat nice!
oh but i was in for something nicer
dang dang dang dang!
surprise cake for sis bdae 5july
but i didnt know the flavour
omg it was.....
ICECREAM CAKE WITH LOTSA OREO
from island creamery

i ate 2 slice...more at night like 2am b4 going home haha
FAT

her gifts very nice lor i wan =(
its almost all she wanted
this is the 2 necklaces i bought

i liked it too so i buy 2 she choose 1
then we can share and wear XP
the sickening thing is my sis bf purposely travel here
to pass her gift at midnight
freaking sweetness!!!
then the teasing start
I wan ppl jealous of my bf
not the other way round =(
I hear what they say i wanted to tear

my nephew noah so cute right!

On sun i was woken up by ppl singing happy bdae at the door
sis's 4 close guy frenz came wth
i washed up feeling ~~~
it seems like my sis best bdae ever
then i went meet darling for lunch at west mall
i was hoping the album to be up and displayed
i was grouchy all day
half bdae half bf (probs not gone you noe)
to make it worst album nt done
partially my fault for the slits hard to fit photos
but i manage to fill lots more then u did
and u managed to find a way too!
couldnt you have done that on sat
spoil your chance to make me beta again

more chances spoiled
he left me tearing alittle
and he didnt know
sms sms
he say he will do better next week
we shall see =)

2009-07-02T00:21:00.003+08:00

~end for the night~

I was so excited to give my sis her bdae gift
i cant help it so i gave juz nw haha
her bdae on sun de XP
my sis and i are stuck with the ffx
duno hw play the blitzball lah grr
thats y now i spending more time on darling's gift
i owe him this gift coz i wanted 5 presents under
his bdae christmas tree but only got 4
its been so long hee oops
can take it as spice up our relationship

I was clearing up for the day
i freaking had to spill ink zzz
luckily not on the frames
think by tml can finally finish
then i can go on with other things
i take forever to finish stuff
i nid to multi task, be discipline
and folo a freaking schedule!

my darling nv contact me =(
when he's not there
i always think abt him miss him
when i see him i smile
then ltr i get bad or mad
eek ><

my dad said i could sell my craft works
since i like doing craft
i can learn more
should i? could i?

2009-07-01T17:00:00.002+08:00

~2 days of good and bad so ultra long post~

I realised when you came out of army
after the nice part was over
I got alot of probs instead
shit that's crappy hehe sorry

sun nite darling came and find me
he brought pizza yum
sorry i was being difficult
i know u trying to surprise me with good food
but i've been waiting for the romantic, love type
(problem 1)
He on his laptop i suggest things for us to do
(problem 2)
but we couldnt agree on a movie
(realization: hmm i want what i want again
maybe nxt time watch what he wants 1st then
i can watch what i want ltr)
end up he more tired so he go sleep
i continue make gift
I hate it when its night or morning
(problem 3)

Mon in the bus to cwp
i found out why darling dun like sit at the very 1st row
my darling short legs long body
get why he dun like? cute
we went to watch transformers
(realization: lucky dun have the movie ghosts of gf past
if not it would be catering to me again phew
but we did wanted to watch 2 to cater to both)
Anyways the movie was woots!
Robots and people working together
I love that haha
Comedy action pack cool sad happy all in one
walk ard cwp awhile..man im tempted by the sales
Went back to his house

He on laptop..i watch my tv show which is only 1hr
i got mad again that he lost my bdae card to him
since he use the excuse of army to not waste time
i searched for it again
we both saw where he placed it
but its nt there anymore
we noe there's a high possibility
its in the dustbin by whom we duno
(problem 4)

I chance upon his ex gf love letters dated 2005
I said "you can lose my card but nt hers la"
He say he juz chuck it there & nv touch again
I ask "you got write back to her de ma?"
he say no
can u get what type of guy my darling is
and why i ji jiao with him abt
being romantic and expressive zzz
for 1 mth they together she hell wrote alot
but mostly abt herself XP
so i got plus points there haha

I gave him to read then say you can do wateva u wan with it
I was hoping to see him throw it away
thats nt hard to get the hint right?
but he say u have the honors and gave it back to me
zzz you know how arghhh i was zzz

He shared the video i made on facebook
I saw the comments today
when i sweet i sweet when i mad i mad! haha
you guys are funny sadly im a quiet girl
thats y _____ i dun like gals like you
(duno dun jump to conclusions wor)
ok thats another story
continuing on...

tue when woke up darling came to me
ask me lets go wash up together
tat small gesture made me happy
i asked why today so nice ask me
I forgot what he said
but it made me diaoz him instead
was hoping for sweet words to come out
zzz you know how arghhh i was again zzz

went mac for lunch
now the silence was awkward for me
you quiet bad enough for me
coz with frenz you sure talk alot
i talk you nv reply me or reply sianzly
say full lazy or tired to talk
zzz you know how arghhh i was again again zzz

went west mall to look for sth
since no one is talking
I told him i couldn't let go of the DID yr3 experience yet
coz of something, needed his comfort
(problem 5)

Couldnt decide what to buy so
went back he prepare to book in
I wanted to pack his room
coz i wanted a place when he can display my gifts
since im gona give another
you know how messy and dirty his room is!
You say you treasure my gifts
but you are not showing me that!

walked to the station
cannot hold hand all that *sigh*
then we quiet quiet i worry sia
you going back in le got nth to say meh?
the train came
intimacy not allowed
so we faster gave a quick goodbye kiss
hehe soo cute then kept waving goodbye
train left...
despite all the problems
i wanted to tear again
miss you already =(

went cwp to get my sis gift instead
2 necklaces both last pieces
i feel that last pieces means fated to be mine
muahaha i got many last pieces:
-bus stop top
-ten toes shoes
-robison sale at expo shoe and tube
-vest gift from sis
-my baby waffie
-2 necklaces
dun remember le think still got other clothes

got home bathed i suddenly felt unwell
check temperature got slight increase only
but i tot if i got H1N1 hw?
i wasnt worried coz i dun tink i have
but the feeling i had was if i really do
i will get lotsa care and concern
damn im such a lonely person
day ended with ET abt Micheal jackson

Problem 1: im still waiting for love kind of surprises which is difficult to happen
like my sis bf tat time 1st yr valentine 12am he came our blk juz to give present
and my cousin bf oso 12am on her bdae to give cake too
candles forming a heart outside window
light sticks on the beach
fren sleeping on her bf shoulder
to wake up finding the words _ love_ written on her hand
*sigh*
ok maybe tat is asking for much coz not all guys are like tat
but my meaning is there, its the gestures
the way you think, what you say to me, what you do
but for my darling =(

Problem 2: I always feel im the one finding things for us to do together
while you immerse urself with laptop
at my house your house oso like that
at least nw we got more movie dates
and got game to play together =)
without occasions we are gona be so bored

Problem 3: stop with the sexy more on the pretty PLEASE!
How about more gestures and less of that
i always say you know how to do that only
coz i dun see anything else happening

Problem 4: u dun show u guilty or sad at all
other times i angry you get angry also
i wont get my surprise or gesture moments
now i angry u say i naggy
"its just a card" i smack you ar
Evidence y i always ji jiao
coz you like that 1!

Problem 5: I still cant let go of the DID yr3 horrible experience
because knowing that you were weak is not nice
Tats y some people wants to hear nice things
coz they already know the bad
they dun1 to hear it frm every1
so there's no good left? really?
its like i cant turn to you too

I say you you say back
it shows the sides of us that we both don't like
Later it all goes away but tats nt good~
Does that mean we are not right for each other?
I dun1 tat to happen so i say & say hoping for sth

"loving for who they are" must mean loving despite
money career background all that right?
If means character then we can all be miserable in relationships
That temper of urs i still worry
It is impt to express wateva it is
But not lead to a fight but a conversation

Im gonna see what i can change on my part too
i type this i oso tired le
but i duno whether im causing myself to be tired
or is it natural for me to react like that?

oh his 2005 gf in the love letter says she doesnt want to change
coz change means its not herself le
plus points for me then haha

2009-06-27T01:10:00.004+08:00

~Life~

Omg Michael Jackson died!
If he didnt turn out so bad maybe i will feel sad
I find him scary looking u noe!
I used to watch his MTV on laser discs which my dad bought
yes LASER DISC the big big ones
so long ago *sigh*

U noe the commercial on singapore idol auditions
The guy who said he can dance like the pussycat dolls?
long before i saw him at my 901 bus stop with my sis
my mouth drop open so big when i saw the commercial haha

I have been making belated gift and catching the shows
"The Drs" & "Sports disasters" on tv
In the end i decided to juz go with the photo album gift idea which i had long ago
at first I didnt find me nice in darling bdae photos ma haha
Hope he likes it
giving to him after he book out
sun evening he's out woots! Finally!

The 2 shows mention above nice wor
shall find videos and post for you guys if u nv catch
One is infomative
Other wow from the disasters
but nobody dies tats the good part haha

watching ET abt Michael jackson death...
realised many stars have been reported dying
like bernie mac =(
*sigh*

2009-06-25T00:48:00.005+08:00

~Late post for March~

K long awaited updates
Previously I could only post abt my emotions
so here goes for March

I said fri the 13 was a horrible day
because of a stupid move i did
I jump on darling frm the front when he on skates
I didn't trust him jumping frm the back
so front i was like here goes nth and jump bao him

We fell~ and i nv tot anything wud happen
got to the bball court where they skated den i took out my laptop
*Dang dang dang dang*
I found out both my camera and laptop
the screen shattered
I was like OMG F!
Telling my dad was so scary for me
Now my lappi is ok but i tink the fall made it not 100% ok
Camera not ok yet
I forgot when but another thing broke zzz

Yes i did share a seat with my darling
The chair was a little broken already so...
When i sat on his lap to look at the computer too
Then ltr I leaned to the side and *CRACK*
We both fell...I was like "everything breaking around me!"

to be contd...

2009-06-21T18:12:00.013+08:00

~Blog done so now can happy update~

Today when i woke up, my mum said she wanted to go to the goat farm and try goat's milk.
The brochure was from when i was in primary school, I was an eco-gardener and we got to go to the goat farm. We could touch and feed them

When we reached, everything is locked to the public. Only 1 pathetic pathway to walk past the goats. Not even close to the lambs~

Got home i made adjustments to blog
Since i cant find a solution to the javascript
I juz have to make fewer falling images
Imeem sucks already
I found another playlist woots
I love jay chou~ Love his songs~

I always find things to do at home
thats y im home most of the time haha
I have to learn excel in case got admin job
I wanna brush up my english in case got tuition job

Shit I screwed up the army letter thingy!
I post already then realised
Now im anxiously waiting for darling to call me

Happy Father's Day
Later got Finding Nemo!
We celebrate advance & we always go out to eat
we went to our dad and now my fav
seafood reataurant turf city!

I still cry when i talk on the phone with darling
Im not use to it , I worry, i cant contact him
and I hate goodbyes

2009-06-20T15:37:00.005+08:00

~Welcome back~

So how's my new blog?
tag me sth my chatbox so dead
Its not only a journal le its like my own web to store stuff too
i dun like my handwriting XP
I still got adjustments, video and the other 2 to do
I wan to cancel out the falling images when thoughts is being click but i duno how
so now quite messy
I kinda created alot of things for myself to do ><
But im playing FFX with my sis more haha
Tv, game, eat, sleep, web, slow job hunt
Thats my life now
Like my blog BORING~
That means im boring =(
nooo! I shall not!

I nid a job to boost my confidence
Then i can be happier
If not im forever scared of nth

Darling's 2weeks seems like forever =(
I wrote a letter to him as requested by the army, haven post though
I still can feel sad when writing it
i haven gotten use to it yet
without my family at home im ultra lonely =(

well for now i'll be updating the happy past so watch out!
=)

2009-06-16T12:58:00.004+08:00

~Now i know I do love you alot~

Yesterday was a horribly sad day
Darling left his things with me
and went to army
And I cried coz i already miss you like crazy
T_T

I stayed over at his house on Sunday
I loved touching his hair
It felt like a brush haha
I no mood so i just watched tv he played game
At night before sleeping we watched IGOR
Cute & funny movie

I already so sad since Thursday
And the next day I would be sending him off with his parents
=(

Woke up 8plus Had breakfast
The father speeds ><
Reached pasir ris at 11am
Waited till 12plus zzz
Darling was told to tuck in his shirt and put down his collar
Man startinig already kena XP

Took shuttle bus then ferry
Later part ways they go make card
visitors had a tour-Q company
The dad didnt follow so i bonded with his mum
later at the canteen we couldn't find his name on the list zzz
Went to auditorium to see them take pledge

I wanted take photo but I know its nt allowed
but i saw a few also trying to take so i also try
dam i hate getting said at
shud hav juz listened to myself

Later we went to the cookhouse to have a final meal with them
Darling say he in Z company, of all people he reshuffle
Then we nv get to have a tour at Z company zzz
We had 'chicken rice' actually the food not bad wor
Then so fast darling had to leave =(
They gather at the parade square
People started taking photo
I nv take zzz I feel so toot

anyway we left and met up with the dad
In the car it was so freaking tense
and i was holding back tears
all the way since we left
I reached home and i let it all out
I hear darling's message on the recordable bear i bought for us
"bye bye darling, I'll be back real soon, love you muack!"
and cried even more T_T like 2hrs
do any other gf do that or only me?
coz ppl say its only army~ oh poo!

I shall finish the video soon and update overdue
posts on our happy occasions
I LOVE YOU TOO
i wan cry again =(

I cant multi-task zzz
my mind is so set to do blog 1st that i spend time doing and playing
while everything else is on hold
and job ting is horrible coz im still waiting

I wan my darling so badly but
I can only wait for his calls
he book out on 28jun for 2 days only~
sigh

2009-04-15T00:48:00.005+08:00

~I see the light at the end of the tunnel~
If tired to read on at least see the last paragraph
coz i cant wait for that day to come

i contd with web design
Javascript is messy

Ivyna told me abt CC meeting at 8pm
Honestly i wanted to juz stay home
But i decided to get off my butt
When i 1st enter the aura was freaking intense
Ltr there were laughing and it was kinda fun
but im afraid i would be tired halfway sigh
but seeing hw it gives satisfaction
I feel like trying

then ltr i went to her house and we chatted again
She's the only one that can make me pour and tear
coz i dun have to say everything out
she know's what im feeling, what im thinking
Like everybody else they say stuff to give me a wake up call
but only to her i wont get agitated
It's been long since i get things off my chest, have a listening ear, have help

Thinking abt my experience at enyouth
It puts a smile on my face
I recall how confident i was
how happy i was to contd working there even though I dun earn much even though it was tiring
I was a leader, I was proud even though i was scared but it wont affect me
I was needed, I was complimented, I did well, I learned and improved
It reminded me that i can do it if i try

Now 3yrs with SP DID
I changed and felt like a whole different person
I only can drown in my stress and sorrows and how lousy i am
I couldnt change my mindset
I was stuck in the dumps and so i failed
Its fate coz i tink i nid to experience setbacks
I had to get out of my shell my comfort zone
"Those who succeed and nv experience failures only experience half of life"
-dare to fail
I only can blame myself for the failure even if its a breakdown coz i chose to suffer alone
Its time to repay myself, improve, and experience the other half of life

I didnt have to go to a psychologist
I can turn to my fren
Seeing how much she's trying to help me, she's such a great fren
it makes me think what kind of fren i am to her
I can be a good fren by not letting her down!

I have overcome my setback
even though i see photos of my frenz happy graduating
but I see myself having a better diploma and job and life
and saying to SOOYIN "straight As in your face bitch!"

1 week more to happy and fun fun!

2009-04-12T23:15:00.002+08:00

~com on 24/7~

new blogskin in progress
=)

2009-04-09T15:00:00.000+08:00

~go to hell~

Stupid SP DID lecturers
Cant you even do me this favour
Its not like im going to be ur student anyways
You ruin my chances
ruin my confidence
ruin my life
You ppl dun even know what was wrong with me
Read a thing or 2 abt psychology then
bitches and bastards
I hate you ppl
I hate you even more now
I cant believe i let u ppl get to me
causing me to lose everything

Mark also heck care me le lor
wonder you still got read my blog or not
I dun think my sch mail works already
I wonder what difference will there be if quek was here

But sadly all this wont go to you and affect you ppl
muz i land in the hospital then hmm
dang shit
Its fate...been having dejavus

my mind was so preoccupied i realise i didnt turn on the plug
and i tot my phone batt shud be full by now zzz

2009-04-08T23:39:00.000+08:00

~I can do it yea~

Confidence is all i nid to be happy
now u ppl know whats wrong with me
say easier than done
changing mindset gona nid time
I nid sum1 to guide me to action
coz the fear is still there
=(

Thx Ivyna for all your help
Had a nice conversation with you
Sry i cant repay with going thailand
coz im still guilty
when i improve i will treat you haha
=)

open up to my mum le
setback go forward setback go forward
but its all too saddening T_T
cry and cry and cry

2009-04-01T18:17:00.002+08:00

~doing own stuff~

room is done
Its the same as my very old arrangement
but I like it alot nw haha
superneat

Been browsing thru newspapers, mapling, wana find a job but then im kinda...so im stuck at hm doing my own stuff and clearing up
Im gona start making my own web for blog, so can put my DID works in, save photos if my com crashes again
Lotsa updates to do but i tink i kinda forget wat to write le hee

Miss having fun =(

2009-03-25T23:24:00.002+08:00

~doing while waiting~

Been getting up late zzz
I wan change routine but...
Now packing room
packing slowly
tiring la zzz haha
and i like it perfect
Move furniture wor

The moment i move table finish lecturer call
The moment i move bed the nxt day i a little sick
You noe hw long i nv fall sick pooie

Will update and post late entries if i remember when finish with room
still wan post darling bdae, owe mini gift, change blog design, settle lotsa stuff etc

Darling 'camp' at my house
hehe so nice muack!
hope fengshui dun affect us XP
coz there seems to be little changes
22 coming weee =)

I love LJS grilled food especially cajun chicken

2009-03-18T16:09:00.002+08:00

~GOD ARH~

Will update abt happy things soon
when mess settled
But now hopes gone again
and i cant pick myself up
to depend on myself
coz its nth to be proud abt
im hopeless

Fri the 13 was a horrible day
Now i have added probs

I wan my darling with me =(

2009-03-16T13:36:00.002+08:00

~Still feeling up but lotsa downs~

The reason y i dun1 retain is coz im sick and tired of hearing that Im not good for 3 whole freaking yrs
My esteem and confidence already low enuff now it has reached my toes
hw to survive
Im always scared of nothings
worry about nothings
Im tired

I really hoped i was one of them at the gradshow displaying my works =(
well i shall display it on my blog then hmm

i chose ID coz i like the end result of making ppl smile with my nice design
I think i do craft work like gifts beta haha
Now hoping i can get in this new course and like the health career adv,
i can also make ppl smile when they feel beta abt themselves like a psychologist or a dietitian =)

If choy cant get in either i wait, or choose psychology? I hope i dun kill myself again like i did 3yrs ago by going with interest instead of strength zzz

update abt darling bdae soon =)

2009-03-10T17:02:00.003+08:00

~planning~

Wee having shopping dates coz
Darling bdae coming soon =)
hehe so fun

Changing wallpaper soon
I love slumdog millionaire
and the soundtracks hee

Things not settled
My heart still uneasy
Gradshow approaching
Im staying away from marina square
=(

Deleted
Scraped off
Gone 4eva

2009-03-09T00:09:00.002+08:00

~My 5 songs~

My dreams yea literally on fire
Poof into flames
Stupid imeem keep playing my song 30sec

If i have the choice
I hope i can dance too then sit and =(

Everyone now has their eyes on me
Staring with their big eyes
thinking im crazy choosing to study over again

If the mess is settled
I would be a new soul in a strange world
Making every possible mistake
XP

And if i still dun pick myself up
I would be leaving
woo wooo leavin leavin
Im ruined
=(

2009-03-07T19:38:00.002+08:00

~How~

My future is in the hands of $$$
Stupid
But i still rather dun retain
Coz i really hate SP Interior Design
Lecturers and everything
I like some part of it but sadly I cant have it

1wk plus more =)

2009-03-04T13:10:00.003+08:00

~<3~

ytd i saw u breakdown with me
It broke my heart
Now i noe and
I love you even more
"if you go who will depend on me?"
=)

More fun ahead of us i hope
even with itp, ns or me poly
shop hunting yea?
Impt impt hehe

If cant go nutrition health wellness, maybe NIE or psychology?
darling say the calendar for snake say i wud be contented being a teacher or psychiatrist
can it be trusted? haha

2009-03-04T00:31:00.002+08:00

~=) =( =/ -_- <3~

Bad news den good news
Happy den sad
solved den problem again
sad mad and crazy den happy
happy and mad
worried and troubled

I tink its gona be long to solve mess and confirm stuff
now i juz haiz every single day
maple everytime too
work i duno yet

I dunlike me and life sucks nw
darling nice then make me argh only zzz
now start ur ITP le wor
planning~ 2wks left

2009-03-02T16:17:00.003+08:00

~my new path~

Darling so nice help me settle poly stuff
muack muack muack
You are the best
except you know what
that
that
that!
XP

good news maybe i can transfer course still in sp and start this yr
duno y different info for mum and darling
I wan do SP new course health, nutrition and wellness
I science student and i did well for home economics in sec sch
what do you think? haha

*excited*

I've been spending alot of $ zzz
ytd mit with sec sch classmates eat at Manhattan fish market
as usual sharing u wont eat wat u paid..$13 and im nt full
i nid save for darling 21st bdae
planning in progress
go ITP or skate soon
hehehe XP

2009-02-27T18:57:00.002+08:00

~past is not equal to the future~

Coz ppl starting mapling again i oso started again haha
Play in the new world
my sad lvl89 priest =(

ytd interview to clear mess was a disaster as usual
lecturers suck especially sooyin
They can never understand
My attitude changed towards the course
nth can change that tats y retaining is not gd for me
but it doesnt mean i will die in other courses!
I hope =(

Im a little happier now so no mood to blog much abt tat XP
Im juz so glad to get outta there
now support from mum and darling to help me
move on...

clearing mess and settle occasions 1st ba
changing lifestyle too hopefully XP
Relationship to be beta too <3
weee =)

im still not all that happy though
this is the 1st huge change in my life
and im nt strong
Im a scaredy-cat

2009-02-25T15:23:00.003+08:00

~What's going to happen?~

tml is time to settle the mess
and start a new life
to live, work, play, and wait to study over again
happily

Im still young
but $ is a concern &
can some1 tell me truthfully
that i did nt waste 3 yrs but
went thru a life experience
or sth like that
=(

2009-02-20T21:10:00.002+08:00

~mix of emotions~

I dun mind picking myself up
study and hope i made the right choice
in fact after 3yrs of project
im excited to study and gain knowledge instead

but knowing that i have to wait 2yrs to stay in same poly is too long
If 1 yr maybe i can work and pick up skills and character
Have talent in sth you know
I dun1 change poly coz i have frenz here
go private no $$$
i cant transfer coz i failed
duh if pass is grad le
died at the very last last
T_T

im stuck =( darling~
I dun1 retain
i wan study sth else
which is the wrong path?
going into ID or not quitting in yr2 when i passed and can transfer course

only some know...so ppl reading my blog
dun tell others =(
i needed a place to pour...

2009-02-16T15:09:00.004+08:00

~ =) ~

Oh and on valentine's day
We go eat only coz i kan chiong do work

We went delifrance ate the valentine meal
The lights were romantic
aww so long nv eat out like tat
everything so nice

I found out i like medium rare steak
I 4gt take photos of food!

at least got souvenier
A delifrance bear I call DELI
hehe

And tats enuff for me
Only anniversary then big big XP

Good luck for exams <3

2009-02-16T14:09:00.004+08:00

~Stupid~

long story short
I couldn't handle it
I only knew how to run away
I was stupid

stupid
stupid
stupid

for being me

I wanted to finally do nice work rather than incomplete
spend so (x100) much time on 3D which i care
causing no time for others
that was so stupid

stupid
stupid
stupid

for throwing everything down the drain

Its over Have regrets
Coz stupid

stupid
stupid
stupid

for being stupid
Its the end of the road for me

"you will choose 1 wrong path in life" -my friend Ivyna
Hope this is already the wrong path
no more mistakes for the future

I feel i have no meaning in life
but I wont kill myself
HAHAhahahahahaha

SPLAT

2009-02-14T12:59:00.002+08:00

~waste of my life?~

Mon is the last day...
Soon i will or will not be graduating
I duno whether it will be a big blow coz my mind is prepared
i told my parents le

couldnt make it on fri submission
i took a huge risk to prepare everything by mon
omg ><

It was a long terrible yr
at least had darling all the way =)

Now i have to chiong but rendering is so long job zzz
Ltr taking break go out for valentine

Hope i can finish =(

2009-02-10T20:31:00.002+08:00

~Wishing~

Its either you or me...
you and me...
or i just cant be someone's gf
coz im dreaming

Its either i ask for too much...
you do little...
or im juz confused
coz many times im nt happy

Its either my character...
your my 1st
or im juz insecured by you
coz im sticky

Its either you tired and sianz...
Its going 2 yrs
or i tink too much
coz it doesnt feel the same

Its either you insensitive...
i too emotional
or you juz dun like or duno hw
coz the problems nv go away

Its either you joking...
saying the truth
or giving excuses to pls me
coz i duno anymore

Its either your actions...
I too sensitive
or juz your character
coz I dun feel cherished

Im juz a irritating distraction to you
This relationship is a mess to me
I cant wait to grad if can (god help me! ><) coz my work gave us prob
I cant wait for 22april to come
coz it wud be a new yr for us

I will hold on to 1st and last
feel the love again
I wana be great (handle like my sis) and be happy

I wish upon a shining star
Angelina

2009-02-05T14:09:00.003+08:00

~I love singing~

I 4got to say this!
SINGSTAR ROCKS HAHAHA

we must play soon again cuzzies!
la la la la la
I wonder how i sound, but got reach pitch hor XP

oh and planet hollywood the funniest game ever hahaha

I shud start taking photos...blog boring XP
If i not lazy to upload too hahahahaha

2009-02-05T13:12:00.002+08:00

~I remember~

I was on bed, i was calm but i was imagining fighting back my lecturers and wishing i did
That jonathan say dun say anything before he finish saying
Hello look who's talking! Who's the rude one!
U interrupt my presentation! Hw u expect to understand anything!

I haven explain materials they assume i use slate for flooring
Then say the stairs ppl will fly, use slate somemore, to them is like saying "stairs of doom"
Do you think im stupid! Its cement you fuckers! i got do my work!
You know wat?! my 'clients' think its fun! so y shud i listen to u fuckers
I know the safety shit but i got think abt it
sooyin you wan me count wat stupid formula
you count and c whther will crash oso or nt la!

The pissed part is i confide in this lecturer but he juz say i dun turn up in class how expect them to understand...did u remember i told u they didnt listen to me at all?!
I didnt turn up coz i was trying to catch up
But even if i did turn up to class they may not understand still
Coz they interrupt and nv listen!
To them the idea is nth so to them i nv think, plus work incomplete so nv do work
To me i got think, I LIKE my idea, I try so hard at idea i no time for production
Can u see the fucking difference!

Crits are tougher then usual class, you nv come to my crit you duno mine
Its not a crit, its a platform for venting their anger, attacking my idea with no sense!
I hope you will see how horrible this lecturers are
QUEK DID! and now he's gone...good and bad thing
But he stood up for himself and us!
He hated the lecturers criticising us, he took notes for us, he cared abt our learning
I shud have given 0 for those bastards in student feedback...dammit!
But anw thx for trying to cheer me up this morning...tats y i still dun mind giving you all 5s

I wonder if quek was still here how wud my studies turn out =(
I nid time off again to prepare for shit...by 13 and 16 feb...fuckers!
-design journal
-rendering and gradbk
-pqm
-intech x20
-TOD t3c annd journal?
-A0 panel for exhibition
-library
-portfolio

after tat make model nice nice...Y wud i wana turn up for exhibition...im so not proud to be SP DID! Juz kill me! Juz give me the fucking diploma hahahahahaha zzz

2009-02-05T01:44:00.003+08:00

~the good parts~

Had a double date today haha fun...can do more often
when work doesnt get in the way!
Sherlyn got me a - ------
omg haha

Darling remember 1 day frenz 1 day us too hehe!

And i found out sth sweet today
Awww~ Muack! hehehe ssshhh!

I nid slp to calm down now
I wana c a shrink or wateva zzz

2009-02-05T00:25:00.002+08:00

~Its time to blow!~
pardon my vulgarity

February 4, 5 plus in the evening, my crit began...

Explain very short while...Jonathan interupt...say say say
Me: I haven explain finish!
Explain even shorter while...sooyin interupt...say say say
Me (defend myself)
sooyin: you're not listening
Me: I know you are talking abt safety rite but i know aggro skaters, how aggressive they can be
(i wan slap 5 lecturers' faces alrdy)
Jonathan: Then ur design cater to pros only
Me: Level B1 got flat ground for training (i haven even reach half of the presentation)
and it juz continues...

The fucking thing is u all dun let me present finish so dun shoot like u all very smart
Jonathan u fucking roller skate ok so shut the hell up
Sooyin I listen u dun
I got think alot about safety, i see skate videos so i find idea workable, not full proof
But u fuckers juz say everything dun work and wan redesign to ur preferences
I know i last in class so ur impressions bad abt me so only give me that attitude...yea i no respect for you fuckers anymore too

Jonathan aggressive skaters do climb stairs to then grind down again
U wan me design so dun have to climb stairs, injury proof
Then where the hell is the identity of aggressive skating
Skaters do go dwn that kind of flight of stairs, can get injured but not fall to their death
I and the skaters are not stupid!

Jonathan say where is the design? then all that i explaining now is what? rubbish? Fuck u la!
Container retail project you say i cad render so nice no use coz no design
Now you tell me no design nvm want production work...go and die la

Now i no design and work..and i have to complete items i haven finish...nid do nice for exhibition..displaying work that lecturers see no hope in..So much work so little time again..wtf..you know i feel like i wont regret it if i quit now..coz i had it! Im gona put the blame on you fuckers and the course. You all made a lecturer, that every1 loves coz he defends us, RESIGNED! This show how bastard you people are.

I duno whether its the course lecturers or juz me, but now im afraid to study coz i scared the prob lies wif me and the result wud be the same. I dun remember wat it is lik to study anymore.

Anw You all lecturers are the same, defend one another. I tot you were different so i turn to you. You're the same but not that bad coz you dun criticize. But ur reply didnt help, if not i wont be saying this hor. Tell me how to have confidence and have ideas?! Only quek encourages that! But he resigned resigned!

Yea I wont feel the pain you lecturers go thru, coz i wont be like you if i teach!
I hope u got read my blog and let all this words haunt you
If ppl reading this find me a complain queen blah blah
Put urself in my shoes 1st
If not shut the hell up...

To be updated if i recall anything shitty...
My fren was rite i really chose 1 wrong path
Hopefully only 1

2009-02-02T23:53:00.003+08:00

~Happy Wks to come Pls~

CNY is over for me sadzzz so fast zoom by again
EEEeee darling and me lost $$$
Our daidee hand not good one
Luck wif sis and cuzz

Today tried aggro abit haha
So scary! and aching!
Sherlyn say I hot wOoOoOo haha thx
Duno when free from work will take up ma
my slalom nv even complete far

I found out there were frenz in the same boat as me
at least it gave me some braveness
but i last in class already so its worst for me lor
Oh wells now juz prep for wed
Maybe after tat go have fun shopping
then ltr chiong work again

Freedom coming soon~
Its all coming back to me <3 =)

2009-01-29T23:12:00.002+08:00

~fear fear~

Its going to be over...
Good or Bad?
Depends how you read it

I may not have finished my work, but im happy i finally satisfied with idea, the model looks good
now i nid to hear it from the lecturers...

thx darling for everything =) muack!
looking forward to cny wif you <3
gamble woots haha

my hair is growing longer wee

2009-01-25T15:17:00.002+08:00

~haiz~

die dying died

i alrdy felt like giving up
but i have no choice
i would still do if i have time
time
time
time
stupid

help then kill me haha so funny...
stupid, horrible luck...
photoshop, printing shop, stuff stuck in studio, cny take up time, cny so studio close, cant print only day b4 submission...how the hell am i suppose to be calm and do good job especially model...no freaking time

dun have idea can complete work
happy wif idea i cant complete shit

now thur is last day
hope luck change for the new yr

I nid it...

<3 darling

2009-01-19T18:01:00.002+08:00

~OMG!~

*squeak*
submission changes!

GOD IS HELPING ME
GO GO!
I CAN DO IT!

"pls tell smokers not to light up"...DING!
I juz luv doing that XP

2009-01-17T00:11:00.002+08:00

~I say a little prayer~

Can I Make It???

GOD HELP ME
I DO NOT WANT MY LIFE TO GO TO WASTE

Still so so so much to do...
Not fair I was stupid =(

<3

2009-01-07T19:19:00.002+08:00

~= ) =~

Its the new year but not all that happy for me coz of stupid work
If only i gt an idea nw i dun mind chionging work lor zzz
Think angie think!
Now the main thing is to grad...

I so regret wasting time last wk but wed was fun =)
catch fireworks but it was blocked by a stupid building zzz
then they came over my house weee
long story long day
watch madacasgar 2 taxi 2 and 3
so many ppl fell aslp le haha
nxt time come early then can play games
if nxt time can...
khai liked my and darling's pasta yayyy hehe
more info at sherlyn's blog haha XP

i dunlike my grad individual photo eee...

2008-12-30T02:49:00.002+08:00

~T_T~

Juz saw my grades...Im the one with all the Fs

I was still hype to try again...after seeing that how is that suppose to make me feel better!
Fuck la

Now doing work then sth happened to the file now i have to edit when i haven finish!
Fuck la

I dun feel like going school anymore

2008-12-26T16:30:00.003+08:00

~This juz sucks~

F la now do sth like nv do anything!

I juz compared with my drawings and now felt that the model, tat i wan build now, is too big! A1 is big le and i cant even fit in gloria jean coffee there. so now i have to replot and spend $ again! throw away $ and paper!

If you know hw's it like to spend so much $ on stuff that you dun really use or have so much wastage, wasting a few bucks now feels like shit!

Sch opening...brain still couldnt work...stress by NOT doing work during holis...hw great!
Small little things that i did for project lets c...finish collecting info on skates from 2 bks, find info on fiberglass, traced another floor plan, plot for model (wasted), go cine to draw to c hw build exterior and materials to buy, go cine, go cine, and again and again zzz

Haven do intech and tod leh! I wan jump le la argh!

Trying to do some work now...
Com crashing lappy faster come!
Darling makes me sad then better =)

2008-12-25T22:31:00.005+08:00

~$ fly~

Merry Christmas! which also means holis ending =(
I duno y i got prob with the space planning so haven do but have been going cine alot of times so can build model...tml muz confirm materials to buy le then chiong ><

22dec was 1yr8mths muack...went pizza hut and watch bolt! had so much fun =)
I love this scene coz bolt so cute!

Christmas eve watched yesman with darling and frenz. take neoprint and eat food. then stay over at kiji hs watch more movies. then nxt day i cut hair. The guy cut so..so.. now my hair...><
Fri still spending $ at artfren...tat time buy glitter paint i still cant get over that! grr waste $!

oh wells...time to save...

tings r fine now as always...luv luv =)

2008-12-16T16:12:00.002+08:00

~d d You belong with meheehee d d~

13dec went to celebrate aunty ginger and uncle john 25 anni...they renew vows awww~ so sweet
if it werent for all the enthu prayers i find christian words very comforting and nice
Shall meet up with cousin soon

sun darling and me had our own 'party' at my house hehe...it was fun =)...ate dinner then played scrabble, watch 1 epi of power rangers =X haha and ate chips, played upwords, made soup then watch death race and sleep..next day we ate lunch and watch bangkok dangerous, played upwords again hehe...then dinner we duno what to eat so we decided to cook pasta..we went grocery shopping and cook together =) so fast the day end le =(

Now im back to stressing about work as always! >< &

trying to do it...slowly XP &

Im trying to solve me &

I tink i got it &

I hope for the best

<3

2008-12-08T19:28:00.002+08:00

~im still hating tis~

Holycrap i forgot to do 4dec homework! so now zero liao zzz but still gona do and email

Presentation ok but still to know the effort i have to put in juz kills me
Then i started playing game and totally forgot abt TOD submission><
thur met mark then tml plan to c him again but...

with all the probs, activities and distractions im so not prepared to see him
as usual disappointing...

Sat played floorball...i so suck at it haha but it was nice seeing cousins again and playing with sis
darling was sweet too muack
I started facebook haha

2008-12-01T16:13:00.002+08:00

~holis coming = buck up~

so fast bdae over..now is christmas! haha
27nov was my bdae but couldnt celebrate coz 28 is submission
so darling and me juz ate pizza at fc5 1st
man i wanted to kill myself coz im getting all messed up and stress..cant tink!
thx darling for helping me..your the best..but got flaws hor hor! XP

submission was beta then the 1st but equally bad! stupid brain cant think anymore, waste time & bad habit of getting it right then doing than juz doing so wont leave till the end to collate everything sigh...so nw work untidy, not nice and incomplete...fed up! i wan rethink idea!

after submit i went clubroom slp...unknowingly darling was planning sth hehe
then he came to club so late then his actions gave him away hahaha...i knew he plan ask frenz celebrate together eek ><
he brought me to fc 5 then covered my eyes...then when open got prezzie infront of me awww muack thx! then suddenly got cake i shock sia coz i tot tat was it...actually is not the surprise made me cry, tat one is cant stop smiling, is read card then teared one hee
mostly every1's faces got cake smashed ...aiyo playful playful =P...then open prezzie aww finally got couple tee =) (pics to be uploaded)

sat went eat pastamania as a treat for darling yum yum! then went austin house...they go there study & i got a new game to play on darling's psp hehe..going to make facebook coz i wan play the games there haha...sun he went there study again while i at home play scrabble with sis and mum...our family game hehe..i always cant think pooie..see dumb le...mum say coz i nv eat bfast...im like getting worst as i grow older...

right time for me to play his psp...but no charger! so now at sch no batt le~bored
i come sch is find mark to talk abt tml's presentation =( pray he not so harsh...im freaking embarassed to show ppl my work...duh! complete also wont coz idea suck..now incomplete too zzz

anw i really dumb dumb...some1 juz called me saying looking for temp, then she say wat sch i say SP then she say wat i doing...i like nv pay attention and go say i using internet haha...ltr say interior design then blah blah

crap~ haha

2008-11-26T18:54:00.002+08:00

~i wan me back~

this course really made me a very different person or did it just showed me what a really lousy person i am?

bdae tml fri submission...im not all happy yet coz now i juz wana die
I cant seem to get the fking idea that i want
lousy piece of shit...disaster coming...

I need u again and again and again...i wonder when u ever nid me will i be like u...
worst or better?

2008-11-23T11:34:00.002+08:00

~zzz~

thur went heeren to consult mark, then went home plan plan then slp zzz
fri wanted wake up early couldnt! >=( zzz
then while doing work i keep getting distracted coz i wanna sing to the songs haha zzz
went to kiji house at nite...coz i did so little juz nw i continue here til 6am zzz
Bt still so little?! zzz
woke up 10am and continue zzz
darling came back home with me and he slept zzz
and he make me grrr zzz
wanted to do work put alarm for half hr nap bt nv ring! zzz
then couldnt wake up later again!
now is sun and have to chiong zzz
we r bored zzz
later muz go temple zzz
tonite cant slp zzz

the thing not zzz about my past days is..
its been 1yr 7mths!
nice acc from frenz and darling!
Manage to draw sth!
nice food for lunch-mutton briyani, garlic prata & milo dino!
nice watching tv and dinner with darling!

now is back to life again...

2008-11-17T02:06:00.002+08:00

~stress stress~

My mind's a mess
Trying to catch up but...
Still lagging a lot
Do work like never do work
I think I'm dead...
Still got other extra assignments you know!!!

Less than 2 weeks to happiness and sorrow~

Thx darling for following me again muack =)
Tml individual photoshoot ><

2008-11-15T12:36:00.024+08:00

~pictures pictures~

So fast time flies...cousin wedding over le...because the bride is only 21, its my first time seeing a wedding like so 'teenager-ish'...so weird hehe...especially the video about picking up the bride at her house. The MC was not good =/ haha (to find photos)

Manage to go celebrate austin's bdae 1st...lucky never wear sundress...see we wear same colour...blue top and white bottom hehe

after skating we went to austin house to stay..took many photos in the train..i luv this photo thx!

took turn to bathe...while waiting people went wild haha...later me darling and wing tong raid the kitchen for food haha...then went for supper...next day austin had his face smashed with a cake..oww~

then he became austina XP from kenny's blog

Later lazy to go out so we ordered pizza then i left for wedding

then back to project...im always sleepy how to stay awake and do work! thx darling for following me on wed...in the rain and all =) muack

on thur 13 nov we got the grad photoshoot...i had to go back to change coz i nv check email! then i forgot take keys! so go back dover..thx darling for helping and yijun for the blouse...reach the studio evening...1st time with proper make up! i look so different! but its so thick and look like malay and the eyebrow so thick! zzz oh well you judge haha...thx for photos!
me!

me?!

Im blocked in all the photos i think! oh wells i dun feel like i deserve to wear the robe =(

Stay cheerful Angelina =) your bdae coming! 1day b4 submission -_-

going to rudy 1st bdae now...

2008-11-06T23:09:00.005+08:00

~ = ( = ~

My interim crit sucks as usual
i hate my lecturers except mark who i confide in
But abit pressurizing coz im afraid haha
Im still very argh abt my course, totally no more interest but nw im feeling abit ok to try again
i hope...go go!

i like slalom-ing now coz i got improve...now constantly skate i feel more part of skate club and closer to every1 too...so many weird things happening =x

I changed my specs like finally woohoo...same style like darling's hehe...look so much beta and take photos easily XP...i found out my voice sound so funny especially on recordings =/ eee...

sat got cousin wedding woots but only going for dinner awww then cant see wedding gown =(

Even though we stilll gt mini probs but im so happy we still can last so long =)
Thx for everything you have done for me...but im still argh about you know what! hee
lovey dovey always =)

2008-10-27T14:33:00.002+08:00

~juz wana scream~

wild wild wet was fun =)
especially with darling =)

I just suddenly feel so sianz with my project
I dun1 to do anything
submission is fri but i still dun1 to budge

what's wrong with me...stress or lazy?
I wana be free and do what i want~
T_T

2008-10-25T00:57:00.002+08:00

~life going up?~

Im happy again =)
Relationship good
Frenz good
skate good
project good coz i unblur myself but...
Im lagging! Lots to do! Stress! Duno right path or not! but...
Im still playing =/ hehehehehe
Tml go wild wild wet coz got free tickets XP

I dont't dare consult again, always shitty experience =(
don't dare call mark ask for help =(
Hope now i got it right for tue...
God Bless Me

2008-10-23T00:44:00.002+08:00

~life going up or down?~

Hate going sch zzz
Fyp now...doing on skating...hope i do ok but im already getting stress
trying to continue skating so hopefully dun lag in work

Worst 22 ever...my hand phone chain broke...is it a sign?
it maybe small case but i dun feel good, you say 'what you want me to do'
It maybe small case but its accumulating, you say 'juz forget abt it'
Im almost always mad or sad or emo wateva, you tink nxt day i will be fine
Changes are taking place
I dun1 to say it i dun1 you to say it
But i duno what to do or feel or wateva

you say you salvage your relationships then let it go, is there nth to do here then?
you really think im ok meh? you dun feel me but you feel others..you type her a note remember
r u juz tired already? cant you communicate properly with me already?

2008-10-10T20:19:00.002+08:00

~weee~

tat day after sentosa nv skate, now after chalet oso nv sadz
Oh well but chalet was fun til ppl had to spoil it >=(
Y didnt i juz continue playing house...aiyo zzz...

anw didnt reply and mit mark =x..stil making gift..sat went aunty house for hari raya..then sun i got disappointed..then mon i was emo...went mit darling buy ingredients...he was sick so i tc of him

Tue got up early bake potatos then take cab wif darling to aloha, check in 3pm
played water captain's ball...my $40 swimwear came to use then haha...i was the captain and manage to catch phew haha fun fun! so long since i went into a pool
had dinner and ppl luv the potatos weee
Then played cards and then night cycling from pasir ris to bedok or sth like tat fun fun! so long since i cycled too haha...on the way back so tiring zzz all the up slopes so zzz came back 3plus
got mad at darling a few times bt we always ok muack...learnt how to play house fun fun

wed woke up at 2pm played captain ball again tis time wif darling...yay 1st time swimming with him =)
Then later plan go wild wild wet but then we had to wait for the weather and ppl who last min wan go and plus the walk, we duno wat time close, find out close at 7pm and we left wif 20mins zzz sadz but then decided night swimming then
swam wif a few 1st then decided to bring food here...the guys brought food and a few more came to join...fun fun again

other stuff i lazy to say le la...but i was disappointed...luv the part when we cuddle =)...but i was still emo the nxt day...darling came home wif me 1st and comfort me =) do i always have to cry to have like tat XP luv luv muack

mon start school le..i tink last few weeks wasnt tat bad...even having fun is part of it coz last time i worst no life haha...the horror is coming T_T im scared~

2008-10-03T13:59:00.002+08:00

~fun fun~

Sun went buy ingredients with mum to bake cheesy potato
Then darling came and tried it
It was so cheesy coz no more parmasan one
But he still liked it hee...chalet come muz bake beta

Mon sis and me tried bake cake and muffin
it was bad...haha
Suppose fishing 1 haiz oh well

tue went sch tot can skate but in the end nv then like waste time and transport ><
I was so sianz the whole day
at least i found sth to do le...a hobby..make darling gift hehe muack muack

wed went to skate...got the gist of snake nelson or thats wat darling said
Wee now nid pratice from the start and up

thur went sentosa woots...like my 1st time =X hehe...it was a long day so here's the brief
met in the morning...then went for luncher
reach siloso beach...guys started sports while the gals sat and watch 1st
I didnt tink i wanted to swim juz wade in the water so i nv bring clothes!
then when reach it was hot and the water was so nice~
So i borrow $ from darling buy swimwear $40 i so xing tong! =(
I so shy at 1st la then ltr went into the water i dun care le haha
we swam to the island opp...i found a very very nice shell =)
The price to pay to hav a nice discovery haiz
Later washed up and played volleyball
it was fun...arm bruised!
ltr played monkey and i got a small injury eeyer!
Darling got 'thrown' in the water hehe
then ltr bathe..it was a new experience haha only the gals there will noe XP
went eat dinner then played old maid at skygarden...fun and funny haha
Then its home...

SUNBURN! look horrible XP...thigh aching duno today gt skate yet ma
Still xing tong =(
I dun1 spend $ le...
BaoBao Baobi!

2008-09-27T23:31:00.001+08:00

~Darling and skate~

Ytd was a great skating day
I was so engrossed in improving!
I got angry fire hahaha!
I tink i can do snake le cool~
I wanted a skater bf and i do and now he my coach too wee thx muack

Really gona try cooking...i made lunch for family today
BAKE FISH YUM YUM!
Tml baking cheesy potato learning frm mum den bring for upcoming chalet
My darling want eat =)

I tink i reply mark at the end end end hahaha

Found from fren webby...My cutie skating hehe...ssshh haven tell him i post XP

The last part so cute hehehe

2008-09-25T23:16:00.002+08:00

~move your butt~

Ytd skating was fun coz i learnt crazy woots!
Suddenly i cant play cabal =( hope it works again.

Darling stayed over and i cooked omelet for him for lunch wee he liked it hehe
I feel like learning how to bake the potato frm mum, maybe cook or bake or sth too
I nid to make my last few wks fufilling!

I haven reply mark =/ shit la zzz

Today evening met fren for dinner...talk alot oso haha so fun
Tml skate with darling again =)

2008-09-23T00:17:00.003+08:00

~3wks of holis left~

Happy 1yr 5mths!
Wore my new dress...but its so grrr! Kept adjusting!
Went seoul garden! So full!
Pls remind me nxt mth cant spend le hehe

Darling and me got game to play le which is WORMS haha
He keep winning pooie! he and his rope skills grr hehe

Darling you bad bad i smack you XP
Remembered to take photos...I so ugly =(

Holis flying by...like tat i never work le so muz at least pack stuff, skate and then settle sch stuff!
Grades as usual good for gems, surprisingly good for itp too then my course pulled it dwn frm 3.5 to 2.2 zzz stupid shit

I LOVE YOU DARLING CHIECHIE <3 hugs & kisses
i shud try some cooking for you hehehe

2008-09-20T01:36:00.002+08:00

~><~

I feel my life is messed up
Im not cheerful anymore
I hate my character and myself
Im not talented or skillful
Im a nobody

Where has my esteem gone to
What's wrong with me...

2008-09-18T12:50:00.002+08:00

~weee~

Mark replied...wasnt all that fun in the end but its nice but i juz dunlike or dun1 to deal wif it argh
Haven find work too argh No $$$ to spend =(...am i juz afraid to do anything? =(
I want to enjoy too Cabal, skate, fren & BF BF!!! =)
But i feel i want do sth more

Watch Rachael Ray and there was a guest that say she is clingy to her bf and gf
I was like wooo what tips they have...the talk was something i already know but like the guest say its a bad habit...the 1st tip was the good one coz the 2nd 1 is to get an activity which i already know
So the tip is to write a note to yourself when u feel like smsing or calling...write y u feel like tat and then read it back again...lucky i started a blog haha

Weee im back to skating =)
I tink darling and me are close together again
But i still got 1 big big prob and you know what it is!!! XP Bad Bad!
Darling bought clothes for me from a fren's online shop weee clothes clothes
I got 1 prob here...you know what too! grrr
I bought a CD for him =) songs that he tried finding online hee

Cant wait to wear it for 22nd <3
Photo Photo!

2008-09-12T00:32:00.003+08:00

~<3 again~

Mark haven reply the advice part yet...im so anxious haha
I cut my hair..new hairstyle for me woots...photo soon

So wed we met and once we saw each other we smiled...i tot it was gona be bad but nah...we made it short and sweet and we ok now =)
You wan little more freedom, I wan you to show more commitment
I hope we remembered our parts to play XP
A ting i thought maybe 1 day will happen in the end it did...wow thx for helping haha

I bought a lure and straight away it got caught in the net and its gone 4eva so sad =(
Never catch any fish but sure got alot of itchy bites! we need change venue, darling's addicted le XP & scratch cards are fun hehe
fish le then stay at fren house - So big! zzz...then later get up early morning to fish awhile more, had mac bfast then later is home & slp

So thur nite i went mit sec sch fren eat dinner and chat at her house which is only 3 blks away which is good, till 11pm then home...i play badminton with you soon ok

Going sch on fri with darling darling darling~
Portable tv!

2008-09-09T22:20:00.001+08:00

~ (",) ~

Tml going fishing again
I wonder tml like how
I nid to get it off my chest

2008-09-08T23:50:00.001+08:00

~sorry~

Its like i seriously know whats my prob
But its hard to get rid of the habit
Coz my heart aches all the time
Its like drugs

Yea we need to talk...this time properly ok! grrr
Give me a sense of security!

2008-09-08T21:36:00.002+08:00

~worst ever~

You're no prince charming or a gentleman
You will never understand you never did
I will never forget easily
IHY

Guys are so damn simple-minded
They don't listen
They don't think
They don't remember

Girls with lotsa feelings
Confide in your blog not your bf
even though books say let your bf know what u r feeling
apparently it doesnt work anymore
they find you a nuisance

I must control control
take your life back

2008-09-08T13:16:00.002+08:00

~wee wee~

I need find work soon coz playing game at home is making me guilty haha
Need wait for mark reply 1st though...

Darling we everytime forget take photos...i tink coz we camera shy hehe but i wan...
Put on blog and friendster if nice XP